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May 23 2018

fireable:

no longer going to pursue a career! id like to be a rock. thanks

0209 4864 500

theapatheticstag:

orsoklatur:

theapatheticstag:

This is my greatest contribution to twitter

do you take constructive criticism

No

0260 a858 500

unlimitedgoats:

bospaladin:

Anfnajjrmwlqjfkwifjiwkdnslb

WHAT.

cobaltdays:

unabashedlybi:

cobbor:

two bottoms chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart cause they’re both bottoms

Is it because the jets are 5 feet apart?

you know what

0279 9999 500

flyfella:

Gays really be talking like that huh

0293 c339 500

dontaskwells:

danthenachoman:

thatpettyblackgirl:

we stan a woke wordbook

why do yall go to the trouble of editing tweets like this. I saw the top two tweets flying about tumblr a couple years ago. What is the point of making the fake dictionary.com tweet.

It’s real: https://twitter.com/Dictionarycom/status/997638557098496001?s=19

May 22 2018

0305 abff 500

lost-soulsilver:

OKAY, BUT WHAT IF…?

bobavader:

cycas:

bobavader:

1900 as a whole century is so wild to me like it started off without people having sliced bread and it ended with seinfeld on TV 

This usage drives me mad. 

1900 is not a century.  1900 is a YEAR.  It’s the year after 1899 and before 1901.   ‘The twentieth century’ is SO MUCH clearer.  Or, if you prefer, 1900-1999.

I wish people would stop saying ‘Tolkien was from the nineteenth century’ but ‘from 1800′ is so much worse, more wrong and more confusing.   

Tolkien was born in 1892.  So he was a child at the end of the century, and his entire working life was spent not in Victorian Britain, but in the era of decolonisation, the move to universal suffrage, two world wars, and the creation of the Welfare State. That’s the context his work fits into.  If you try to interpret him in the context of the British Empire at its zenith, you might as well give the man a smartphone and a Youtube account. 

Im sorry did Tolkein write Seinfeld? No? Yeah I thought so. Because he wasnt a good enough writer to do it. Get off my post or ill send you back to the century of 1700 with my (real) wizard powers.

chessys:

we all went through something when they played hallelujah in shrek

lesbianrey:

me: please help me i’m dying

brooklyn 99 fan: you really should watch brooklyn 99

0320 cf45 500

grawly:

sebastiandebeste:

in fifth grade i drew anime george washington

image

0335 d158 500
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deohsogay:

me: [considers coming out to someone]

them: [says something homophobic]

me:

tumblr post

polynesia:

user 1: omg what if trees made oxygen that we can breathe

user 2: Omg hahahaha *tags five people*

user 3: *rupaul drag race gif*

user 4: Actually, this really happens! Trees release oxygen when they use energy from sunlight to make glucose from carbon dioxide and water. Like all plants, trees also use oxygen when they split glucose back down to release energy to power their metabolisms. Source

user 5: This is why i have Tumblr. Thank you science side tumblr.

user 6: If there is ever a day where I dont reblog this then execute me

queerkiyoko:

heteros: idk she lives like an hour away, that’s too far

lesbians:

cautionlazer:

cautionlazer:

cursedstim:

cursedstim:

hey ohio followers.. I’m sorry

i just rode through your whole state in 4 hours and saw like 3 buildings

hey op where did you see the buildings

where are the buildings op

0360 f54f 500

donkamatic:

donkamatic:

seeing john mulaney posts tagged with “john mulaney spoilers” is the funniest fucking thing

john mulaney dies in infinity war

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